Category Archives: Mindblogling

The thing of it all…

Put a log in the fire, I want to get something off my chest here….

So with all this stuff going on in the world and all the things going on in my own personal life I really just get to thinking a lot. Like I think, a lot. To much probably. At least to much for my own good I know. I don’t know what set this little bit off. I did see a meme that said “Its all a cover up for 5g” which didn’t really effect me, but I bring it up here so maybe it did?

I can’t help but think though in this day and age of the internet and the speed at which things move and how fast the world can change and how much “internet famous” means to seemingly everyone but no one I personally know I can’t help but think. I bit the bullet and signed up for instagram the other day. Followed a “friend.” Basically a guy I know that I play D&D with but I don’t get to hang out with him as much as I’d like and put it away. By the next morning I had 2 or 3 people follow me, and I didn’t even post anything. It got me thinking but I’m still falling back on Facebook. The good old system I know because old people can’t stand change, right?

Then theres all the world politics what with corona, brexit, Trump being presidente and stock market and this place is just a damn mess. Just really a mess man and it gets me thinking. Mostly it gets me shaking my head because whats it all coming to? What really is the point of this all?

I’m only 41 man, I’m not that old but I find myself thinking about my life, where I have come from and where I am going and yes, eventually where I will be and what I meant and what it all meant and the struggle. The constant daily damn struggle of it all. The hills and valleys. My son is turning 13. Thirteen years. We had a talk about cars. I told him I will spend as much on a car as he can save up. I will match it. I know what I would change going back. I have 20 years more experience of life *after* 20 than anyone *being* 20. I think about that with my parents. When I said I would match him on his car it got me thinking about it all. About *it all.* I think it all starts with a car. Every kid wants a car. Every person wants a thing. Every person needs to pay for that thing and then it just escalates until you have bills upon bills and debt. Thats capitalism baby. The rich feeding off the poor and I see the cycle. I see how the world works and I want no part of it anymore. I can’t stand it. For a long time now I’ve grown to appreciate the “ignorance is bliss” motto because it is. Outside the realm of what I can influence and what makes me a better person I can’t change. It can change me, yes, but I can’t change it. I can check a box on a piece of paper and drop it in a box but as they have said, the votes don’t matter, its the people counting that does.

Now I’m not all conspiracy theory nut here I’m just venting because I am just sick of the system. It repugnants me. It makes me want to just tell people I know to just shut the fuck up. There is enough of it all flying around just in the air that its vile an infectious and horrible and its just unhealthy and this little vent is just helping me clear my mind. I have faith in this world and in my kids to be decent people and I can only raise them to be as good as I can but I can see things and I see my weakness and I just want better for them. I don’t want them or the world to keep falling into the same traps. I want people to come out of this, but maybe coming of age in this world like this, maybe this world has always been like this? Maybe the world is just always full of BS and it never stops. Somewhere it has to though and I want to find there. I want to end there, in peace. I don’t want any end to be a final cry of pain, rather a sigh of sweet release.

I do find myself wondering though, whats the whole point to it all? What does all this matter? I’m disecting some books others have wrote to put up material on planes data for D&D people. Whats it matter? Theres probably a hundred sites better than whatever I am doing…. What does it all matter?

I think it comes down to just finding your zen. Whatever it is in the world that makes the world drown itself out and all that static can just go away. I think that’d be the place and I’m hoping that I can find a ticket.

Jump to 24:50. I found this later in the evening. Look up the guy and actually think about what he has to say. just saying….
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Why fly so high on the wings of the planes?

In the lore of D&D why are the planes so important? If they are in fact so important why don’t many people visit them?

This is a pretty ridiculous topic in my eyes. I don’t get it and I don’t get anyone that doesn’t get it. Its a bit of the same reason that I don’t tend to play human characters in games unless I have to. I am human, why would I want to pretend to be one? I mean really now, come on.

I’ve played minecraft with my son. I’ve played creativerse with my son. Two different games, same idea. Thing is, I get two totally different feelings while playing essentially the same game. One is entirely sandbox and led by creativity and just building(although survival mode is funner) and the other is led by what I feel is exploring and surviving. I get the same feel when I play Astroneer with my son. He told me the other day he got bored playing Astroneer. I can get that. Harvest resources, goto another planet, do the same thing, build the same things, get a new resource and move on. Before we had to stop playing though I tunneled to the core of the planet. We also explored a cube which I guess we can turn on. Guess what, we explored and found something interesting to keep the us going.

All that totally equates to material realm vs planes. You live here, its your sandbox. You do what you usually do here doing the things you usually do, getting your loot, spending your loot, looking for a new place to get some more loot. Wheres the bit of discovery though, of something new, something you having seen or experienced?

I was just chopping up the Planescape manual of the Ethereal Plane last night and I briefly skimmed over a part that they talk about a dudes station on the edge of basically what is a black hole of ethereal quasi-proto-matter or something. Some wizard built his research lab there and has been sending back reports on the edge of a black hole in the ethereal but his reports have been getting slower and slower to update and people have forgotten about him. I didn’t even read the whole thing yet but wth? Yeah. Now, I think the real problem comes in on ok, thats a great build up for a hook… How do I run things in the ethereal? Hows the ethereal even work?

Well, thats what I am currently working on. Its going to be a mess because I have literally a ton of things to drop on here but I am trying to build some kind of resource for each plane or at least the big ones. Astral, Ethereal, Hells, and a couple others. I don’t know how much I can keep up with this pace because its a lot of material and I need to find ways to make it make sense without just dropping a load on your desk. I have been pulling mostly from Planescape setting. 2E? AWW MANNN!! Suck it up buttercup because I prefer to go the route of going to the source for things and Planescape was built for planes travel. I plan to pull from the 2001 Manual of the Planes book and I may try to find newer sources also. This gets to be a mess though because things change between editions and it seems that planes stuff is spread out all over. To my knowledge there is no one good source, which is what I am attempting to do. If you want to complain that its hard to update 2e stuff to current 5e stuff, you can read my take on that kind of thing and take your mechanics and leave because I’m not doing this for mechanics, I could give a crap about mechanics and systems. I am doing this for the idea of it. You don’t need to know how to make a player character a Nethling(its in the book). You just need to know the idea is there and usable.

I was going to try to just write what a lot of this stuff was and really bare bones the thing but that wouldn’t be useful. If I was fighting an Arcane Devourer then I would want to know what powers it has. All the cool little things it can do.

Let me just end with a thought. When is the last time you started out a campaign as adventurers(mercs, whatever) on the astral sea looking for the next island of a “dead” god that you can harvest some materials from and on the trip back gotten eaten by an astral dreadnought at which point you got taken to its demiplane and now you have to contend with all the stuff its eaten and have to escape?

I hope to get some of these things rolling in in the next week or so.

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Have some Corona’s

This may be at least the second time in my life, maybe the third that I have thought to myself that its a weird time to be alive. I know I have told my friends on a few different occasions that I don’t think now is the best time to be alive with all the craziness going on. People are buying toilet paper online for like $50 a pack. Almost nation wide schools have shutdown for two weeks. Thats nearly insane. We are a week into this two week shutdown and I don’t even know what to say.

I do and have wondered though about the history because its something I don’t know much about and its ever more interesting the more you learn about it. I find myself thinking and wondering about the things my parents and then my grandparents would have lived through. Is it 3 generations now that have been alive since the big W W 2? My parents were born in 45 to 50. Their parents were born sometime in 1900. My great grandma Margaret rode a horse to work in town where she labored for a hotel and had room and board there. She met her husband who also rode his horse to where she worked and they bought a house that I could have bought if I had the money. I didn’t. It was a nice enough place. I would have liked it. I may be close to the last generation that remembers a time before the internet. My kids won’t know what a rotary phone is. I’m getting old and I feel it and sometimes I can’t help but think about death and I am only 41. I wanted to say 40 but I am over that hump. The things and experiences of the past are lost with the last and it saddens me and what saddens me is it seems rare to pass that on to the next generation. I don’t know what to say to that.

I take it as a personal … I can’t even think of the right word. Obligation? Its not that though. Insult is not it. I just want to learn more about the past. Maybe its because I know when I die I know what I will take with me and I can’t pass that on to the next, which is why my kids are important to me. Not because of that but because they are the future. I think as a parent people want to raise their kids right and all they can do is do their best with a little shake of prayer and see how they turn out when they launch. I think I am doing ok but I know I struggle daily and some people have told me that is because I am actually trying but in this week since school has been out of session I can feel it. I can feel this family and what it is like.

The thing that I have learned as a parent is that its not a race you win in a day. Its a day to day to day with an over arc plot. You set your course and you stay on the course. When you find yourself getting off that course you readjust. This week off has taught me things about this family and I am taking that opportunity to learn more, more about myself and more about my kids and my wife and my life. It is indeed an interesting time to be alive and really who knows what will be held in store? There could be tanks in the street next time I write something here… Time will tell. Time will always tell.

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Kobe

You know, not too much really effects me these days.  I mean, yeah, things affect me, but they don’t effect me.  I find myself thinking about Kobe Bryant’s death recently.  There are usually a good number of celebrity deaths throughout a year(s).  Wayne Static, Robin Williams, Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger and others I am forgetting.  There have been a string of suicides with Chester Bennington and Scott Weiland and others.  These deaths affect me because these guys were just to much before their time.  I wanted to see what else they had in them.

I love me some Linkin Park but hearing it now takes me to a place of remembrance because he died.  He didn’t ruin the band because it still stands but its now a time and a place because there won’t be any more.  I actually feel bad for the loss of what they could have brought to the world and what these guys have actually brought to the world while they were here.  Their songs and movies hit a chord and had emotion and you got to imbibe that.  It helped you deal with and overcome things.  I had part of “Numb” as my ringtone for my parts for a short time.  Robin Williams was just amazing.  All these guys just had something about them but that’s the thing.  They all had their demon’s.  Everyone has their demon’s they deal with on the inside.  Not everyone shows them and you don’t know what people deal with.  They each had the word by the balls, so to speak.  They had the luxury of money.  So why couldn’t they just put their problems aside and live the life they wanted with the resources they had?  I like to think about Steve Jobs.  He died literally at the top.  The tippy-top of the world.  He was it.  He had everything and it was gold…  He still died.  Nothing could stop it.

Kobe though…  Kobes death is different because he died in a helicopter crash.  I find myself thinking about this because he died with his daughter.  I don’t think I heard about it or I saw the headline and my cousin texted me “its a bird, no its a helicopter, no its Kobe going down.  lol too soon?”  Followed by a picture of Kobe’s wife saying shes back on the market.  Now I tend to let a lot of things ride but this one strikes me because he died in a helicopter crash….  with his daughter….  and numerous other people…. because he wanted to save some time getting across LA.  He was doing a routine trip across town to go coach his daughter’s game for some charity thing and they all ended up dying in what I presume was a flaming wreck.

Do you think he saw it coming?  Do you think everyone saw it coming?  What do you think those last few minutes were like?  Did he have a chance to hold his daughter?  Were they looking each other in the eyes when their lives left them?

I’m not a sports junky.  End of the day I could give a shit about sports ball or whatever you play it with.  That is not a way to go though.  Money doesn’t stop bad things from happening.  Nothing stops bad things from happening.  The world really doesn’t give a shit about you, me or the next guy.  What does matter is how you spend your days.  What matters is where you put your energy.  It is morbid to say but what will people say at your funeral?  Its not even about the amount of people at your funeral, could be one, could be a hundred.  What it is though is whats felt there?  Truly and deeply.

Are you making the world a better place?  Are you spending your energy wisely?  How did you evolve as a person today?

I hope you did something today that made the world a better place.  For yourself and for others.  Even if its the little things…

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We’ve come to a point…

Any time I have had a website before I usually tend to lag at a point and it seems to have come to that. I have plans for this place but I’ll be honest I don’t know what. I have ended up copy/pasting a lot of articles from my notes into this system. I don’t like the idea of plagiarism, I don’t like the thought of that I’m trying to take credit for something someone else wrote and I’m not trying to do that. I’m also not saying this place is a place to get your newest and bestest ideas and that I will be actively developing new systems and things to put on Kickstarter.

This place started out as an idea that I want an online repository for battle maps. Thats what this place was and with that idea I should have just choose a website based off that idea because currently at post date I am not emphasizing that enough. I have a collection and I am going through that collection because there are some lackluster maps and I have more to upload. I have 400 from Witcher 3 currently and I’m not sure what to do with those. Should I add them to the gallery or create posts? Should I do both? I don’t know.

This place is more abut just my collection of stuff. I have copied a lot of notes and made a note of notes to myself about ideas and I was trying to use this place to help me develop some of those notes into something usable. In the end though it will probably just be a place for my collection of notes and my thoughts on things and stuff.

I don’t want to just move my notes from one place to the other and I don’t want this place just complete mess of randomness that a person just gets lost in so I’m trying to ride the line and figure out what I really want from here….  What is my passion?  What do I actually have to say thats new??

I am hoping to update regularly but I struggle with life things but it will be a thing I stive for, to update regularly.

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